Chipping Away

 Mother often spoke to me about how it feels when someone whom you love just keeps doing/saying things that are hurtful. (oh, how I loved that wise, common-sense person I called Mother), and they seem unwilling to help you understand or to bring you into the fold. Time and time again, you are left either in the dark or not being heard or valued...and soon you become numb to the fact that you feel you don't matter. You don't want to accept that...but you must.

Mother called it, CHIP, CHIP, CHIPPING AWAY" AT THE BRICKS IN THE WALL, UNTIL IT COMES CRUBLING DOWN, yes, I see it Mother, my best friend, ever so clearly now. There's not much more I can do...not many more hands that I can extend....as I always still walk away in the dark with no communication or anyone who calls and says Hey how are you doing today. So I pick up the pieces and stitch the cup together" and move on.

                                    

I've spent years giving it my all to my side of the family, what's left of it. And when they needed me the most, I had my "hands chopped off" when I was trying to help my sister with memory loss....and was actually told, I'm not part of the family. And then came the revelation that I was making everyone uncomfortable because they couldn't do what they want to do, i.e. imbibe in the drink. I will never back down from my stance of not using alcohol. And then it was turned on me, as if it was my fault. I've seen it time and again affect lives, and how families fall apart because of it. I most recently conducted a memorial service for my best friend's husband who lost his life at age 62 because of alcoholism. It was brutal. 

But every now and then you find a piece that speaks to you, as in the case of this Irene Wachira posted of FB, Feb 21, 2025. (I back dated this so that I could save it. It's kind of my story right now.)

"When you hurt someone with a good heart, the reaction isn't always immediate or obvious. They won’t shout, won’t make accusations, and won’t cause a scene. They are the kind of people who carry their pain quietly, letting it settle within them like a shadow, while still showing kindness and compassion to everyone around them. It’s almost as if they continue on as if nothing has changed.

But deep inside, something shifts. The way they once trusted and valued you starts to erode, not through any dramatic event, but through a slow, silent realization that their trust has been broken. They begin to distance themselves, not out of anger or vengeance, but simply because they’ve accepted the painful truth—that they can no longer give the same love and trust they once did.

These are the people who have loved you without reservation, who have given you their time, their energy, and their heart. When that trust is betrayed, it doesn’t explode into chaos. It simply fades, quietly and inevitably, because they know that they can’t sacrifice their inner peace for someone who cannot value them the way they deserve.

They may still be kind, they may still be compassionate, but they will never look at you the same way again. The connection will no longer be the same. The loss of someone like this isn’t something that can be undone—it’s an irreversible change. Once they’re gone, they’re gone, and the space they leave is not easily filled.

So, if you have someone like this in your life, cherish them. Appreciate them. Because once their trust in you has been shattered, there’s no turning back. They will walk away, and they won’t look back."

I never wanted to give up.....