Godwinks Defined

 An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

I ordered the book, and before it ever arrived, I was able to read the introduction online. The author advises that you sit in a meditative state and envisioned things or people throughout your life that you believe made an impact on the direction of your life. It was so powerful to me that I purchased 4 more copies to give as gifts to others. Even though it is an older book, I believe that the message is most useful because I have always believed that God intervenes and that everything that happens, happens for a reason. But how well do I listen to His direction?

Below is my list of GodWinks: Dec 7, 2021

God- it all comes back to here. Giving me the ability to forgive. As I made this list, I didn't start here. The first item on my list was my childhood pet, but I had to double back and put God at the top of the list, since I have lived in faith since I was a child. I know that He guides me in everything that I do. I pray to Him often for guidance and comfort.

My heritage – I also had to come back and list this at the top since I am a huge historian for family history. I know that God is in my DNA just by the rich history of all of my ancestors. They lived full rich lives grounded in the faith. I had many preachers in my background and I’m truly their daughter in Christ. Because of them, I reached the place where I am today. Without them, I wouldn’t be here.

 Pal – the best friend that kept me sane as a child Dec 7, 2021. As I truly reflected with my eyes closed back into my past, the first vision I had was of my dog PAL. The name was truly fitting. He was my best friend and kept me sane as a child. When I searched my files, I found that I had already written a tribute to Pal which I will share on this blog tomorrow, but there was much more to his story than I realized when I wrote about him in 2019. 

So here’s the rest of the story and why I know that it was no coincidence that Pal found me:

I had a very hard time adjusting to school in the first grade, as I was a year younger than all the rest (born Aug 31). In second grade, Pal found me and I began to adjust much better to school life, though I had a teacher Mrs. Ricketts who I was a bit afraid of. But Pal grounded me and became my source of daily comfort. Now that I was adjusting better to school and friends and social life, I became a LEADER of my group of friends. In hindsight, I believe it was because I had an older brother who was a star football player and my sister was always the most popular girl and always selected as cheerleader. My parents were up-coming in the community and all of this gave me confidence. This role of being a leader in my cliche of friends continued until the end of 4^th grade.  When we made the transition to 5^th grade to Middle School (different building and location), I found myself at the very bottom of the pile. Though I hate to point fingers, in my soul I feel I know who was responsible for taking me out of the mix. Children can be very brutal to one another due to jealousy.  The “new” ringleader began to ridicule me, taunt me and make fun of me in front of others, and it seemed that ALL followed her lead. It reached a point where I hated to even get out of the car at school and would immediately look for a place out of the way and the taunting that this person subjected me to. I withdrew more and more and tried to stay out of harm’s way. MY PAL was, at that time, the only true friend I felt that I had. When I came home each day, he was there and I would find a place of refuge with him, as I withdrew into my own cocoon. Mother would often tell me to tell them, “Go jump off a bridge.” It rang hollow, as it was just not something practical. But I’m sure she was at wits end with no other idea. I often wondered why someone didn’t save me from this cruel reality, but IN reality, I learned to be tough and appreciate my own worth. I’m not sure that I could have done that without the comfort of my old friend, Pal. Things did improve in the 7^th/8^th grade as we were now anticipating going to high school and becoming cheerleaders. These girls felt that I had something to offer and they began to invite me to the park to “play practice”, but I never regained the same footing, as I was always skeptical of becoming the “whipping boy” again. And then we transitioned to High School and the said ringleader WAS elected cheerleader.  But now I faced a different more personal challenge. And once again, when things grew wretched at home during high school, Pal was there for me….EVERY DAY….keeping me sane.

I never analyzed all of this until WAY later in my life. I just learned how to buck up and move forward. But one day as I sat in teacher training prior to the start of school probably around 2002, we were learning all about bullying, and how to recognize it and prevent it. I don’t think that I have ever had anything affect me in such an ‘ah ha’ moment when I realized that THAT was exactly what I had experienced. I sat in that training with tears in my eyes. I’ve never succumbed to the “oh poor me” attitude, but in that moment, it all became clear that I had been the victim of the brutality of bullying. That person who found a need to bully me changed my life forever. Once again, I’m sure that God had a plan. He knew all along maybe where the ‘other’ road would lead me. But He gave me a PAL to see me through.

Mother – Well, there will be MUCH more about my mother as she was my mother first and my best friend in my adult life. She taught me deeply about life, gave me insight into myself (She often told me good things happen to you because you wait to make a judgement... and people know exactly who you are because it is written on your face.) She taught by proverbializms. These allowed her to express a certain moral given by an unknown narrator to show that in order to overcome doubts and discouragements, one must plug on to navigate life’s problems. She lived by example, without judging me or telling me what to do.

Agape love

Daddy- someone is ALWAYS there for me. More about my precious daddy who loved me with a heart bigger than Texas.

Eventually, I listed 27 more people/events that I believe were Godwinks. I plan to flesh those out and share the blessings given to me by the people who made a difference in my life.