Autumn Season of Life

                                                 

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Autumn is a season of change. The days grow shorter; the cool breeze begins to blow; and the leaves change from green to vibrant red, yellow and orange. Not this year. Record heat is being recorded upwards to 101 degrees. The trees are suffering and their leaves are dying, turning brown on the tree and falling to the ground already curled and crispy. I pondered a large dead leaf, kicked it out of my path and thought to myself, "That's exactly how I feel this fall season. I mean nothing more to my sister's family than that dead leaf on the ground." 

My husband and I have built a beautiful fulfilling life together. The only other family that I am close to is my sister's family. She has a small family: her husband and a daughter.

I have recently come back from helping my brother-in-law in a dire situation…only by chance were we made aware of this.  Why is it that I was the one that was contacted? Why do I continue to feel responsible when I can feel the toxicity towards me? Two of my sister's friends called me to tell me her husband had been placed in the hospital and she cannot be left alone. She has alcohol/pain induced dementia. I have been ostracized for choosing not to drink, but it will always be the choice I make, and I will never make apologies for that. It has torn apart so many families, including mine. Yet, I’m the one that is called. Her daughter is self-absorbed in living her life. I quickly make arrangements and go immediately to help. We were graciously thanked over and over by her husband for being there to help until he could stabilize enough to return home.

So why do I feel that I have the "dead leaf syndrome"?  I have been told by her husband that I, in no way, will ever help make decisions about their family. I'm NOT family. Then why was I the one contacted? And WHY do I continue trying to inject myself into their lives? Why was I the only one that friends felt they could contact in a dire situation? It’s so pitiful that it actually hurts. 

 Well...I have a difficult time leaving behind the important people in my life. I'm uncertain why I continue to try to insert myself into their life when there is never any communication...if there is, I'm the one to do it. One would hope that with the small family that is left, they would embrace one another with love and thoughtfulness...openly. 

Leaving behind something very important to me has been my most difficult challenge.  Time and time again, I have tried to be there for what is left of my family. Time and time again, I’m cut off short, and most likely criticized behind my back. I often think that I am done trying to force myself into a toxic situation, hoping that I can make a change in a positive way. I feel the tension towards me for trying to help. I do my best to make it right, to please, to be helpful…and always find myself on the side of not knowing the impact of what others are feeling, nor am I ever contacted later.

My approach has been not to challenge them but rather find ways to encourage them while being truthful in the least painful way. My brother-in-law loses sight of what is most valuable in life, the giving of oneself of love and time. Not just throwing money at something.

So, I have been faced with another intense dire situation, which was most appreciated. I was told over and over how much it was appreciated that I was there, yet I walk away with the sense of being cut off. They will never contact me, as the only contact ever made is done by me. Why is that? I’ve been pondering that question. And why do I take on the responsibility of caring?

In recent months, I’ve been telling my husband that I might as well be dead in their eyes. (He does not much like that. God bless him for loving me so very much that it is painful for him to hear that.)  Now once again, I had to navigate from outside of the bubble, finding resources, contacting their friends, speaking with the daughter who has been in constant contact with her dad...we visited once, twice if you count that I was the one who had to contact her initially. I left feeling drained of energy, more so from the feeling that they would rather me not be there, than from the constant activity, caregiving and contacting others who were inquiring as to how they could help. That's why I feel that I have the dead leaf syndrome. 

Reflecting deeply, I realize that dead leaves symbolize change and transition, marking the passage from one stage of life into another. It is reason to reflect on what lies ahead. We must learn to let go to make room for new growth. Then I pondered how the dead leaves on the ground provide nutrients that encourage new growth.

Some days I do better with this dying and renewing process. I would like to not have to go through the process of ‘dying’. I would rather join hands with the family and stay on the green side of life. It hasn’t been that way for me in years. The reality is that I must let go of things, situations, and even people, that no longer serve me in a positive way. I am blessed with being able to look at a natural process such as the dead fallen leaves of autumn and see how they can teach me how to take a fall while at the same time nourishing myself in order to continue my growth and transformation.

 

 

 

 

 

HATE is a Powerful Word

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It is cliche to say, "I hate eating vegetables."...Just as it is to say, "I LOVE those shoes you are wearing." Now...do you really LOVE those shoes. I heard a sermon on the levels/meanings of love. There are different forms of love. And I believe that there are also different levels of hate. Mother always told me that there is a fine line between love and hate. That is true as I have learned in my adult life.

But let's think about the word HATE. I have real difficulty using the word hate. I'm not sure how far or deep that goes. As I live the Chrisian life, I have always tried to be forgiving. So, I have difficulty using the word hate because it is thrown around like it is nothing. However, hate is much more than that. Hate is a crippling emotion that ultimately becomes a reason you have negativity in your own life. 

In his presentation on Golden Rule Relationships, Zig Ziglar recognizes the damages that are done when you hate another person or even just resent them. He speaks about the necessity of forgiveness which has a profound effect on your overall happiness. We need to evaluate our emotions of hatred, resentment and guilt. These three realities affect our lives, I believe, in ways that we may never understand. Christian principles teach us to love one another and have forgiving hearts. I often say that I forgive people, but I can't forget a wrong done to me. "Fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me," But it doesn't mean that I can't have a relationship with that person. We have lost that ability in our modern world. We like to harbor hate and resentment too much...and this leads to feeling guilty.

Hating somebody brings more poison into your own life than anything else. Above all else, hate sucks the energy out of your life. What is most damaging is that it leads to guilt over what you may have said to someone or how you have made someone feel, etc. Guilt destroys productivity and is contradictory of the Golden Rule.

Focus on living a productive and happy life. Don't' spend your time or energy in HATING things. Don't let it rob you of being happy right where you are. Stay in the moment and count your blessings.

My Beautiful Sister on her 7th Birthday

1957

 Another fabulous cake made by Mimi (Ava Ella McNair Jones.) 

I love the way children would dress up for special occasions. 
Mother always let us have a birthday party.

Growing Up In Small Town America Part 17

                                 STRUCTURED ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL

Ready for the Recital

one last practice

My big brother, Bryan, watches over me.

Piano Lessons

Taking piano lessons was another cultural experience. I gained way more than I realized at the time. Learning to play the piano takes a lot of discipline and I was actually pretty good at it.  My piano teacher, Mrs. Connor, would eventually become one of my greatest mentors. She was a no nonsense person, but she had a definite passion to teach us well about how to read music and play to the best of our abilities. She made us attend Music Theory Lessons once a week during our first couple of years, along with our once a week private lesson.  She expected us to practice and could definitely tell when we had not done so. We brought our spiral notebook each week with our practice log and she would document our progress and write down the goals for the next week. It was a little scary when she became frustrated as she would take out her red pencil and begin to mark heavily on our music sheet of what we should be noticing. It was a tremendous learning experience and also a test of true discipline as we prepared each year for a public recital at the auditorium and also for National Auditions where ten pieces were played by memory for scrutiny in front of a judge.  We would be dismissed from school in order to participate in auditions. It was always a relief to have that behind me. In high school, I grew interested in other activities, though I still loved piano, I was not keeping up with practice. Mrs. Connor finally approached Mother about how it was wasting everyone’s time to continue. I was a little sad to not be around Mrs. Connor any longer, but it was for the best. I look back at her fondly as someone who enriched my life, helping me to set better standards.

Growing Up In Small Town America Part 16

STRUCTURED ACTIVITIES OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL

I am dressed in my Bluebird outfit. Paula was a cheerleader in Junior High.

 Camp Fire Girls and Horizon Club

Mother and Daddy made sure that I was involved in the community outside of the school setting. They wanted us to be raised with etiquette and culture and became members of the Community Concerts which was a cultural show of some kind each month at the auditorium. We would dress in our Sunday best and attend these monthly concerts.

 Mother also placed me in Camp Fire Girls. I started in Blue Birds, with 10 other hand chosen girls since my mother knew their mothers. We moved our way up to Camp Fire Girls, staying with the organization until we graduated high school. The top rank was Horizon Club. These girls became my core base of friends, forming my closest connections within its boundaries. We participated in monthly meetings, earning beads with our service to community and learning to do crafts, etc. We sewed our beads onto a vest in our own chosen patterns. I attended Day Camp every summer at the beautiful rustic Camp Fire Property on the outskirts of town. I started as a camper, and eventually became a camp counselor leading a group of younger kids.  I loved the Camp Fire director, Norma Jean Nowlin, and she obviously respected me, as she eventually made me and another friend, her main assistant helpers during the summer Day Camp. Being a part of Camp Fire was definitely important during my formative years.

My Study Place

We moved from Texas Street to our home at 4105 Bismark Street in 1962. It was a 3-bedroom home so that meant Paula and I shared a room. And you know how that goes! She was 6 years older than me and pretty much took precedence over the bedroom. I had started school, and Mother wanted me to have my own space to study, do homework and color or whatever else I needed. She set me up a corner in the den. I loved to color. Here I am busy at work :)

I still have the Dr. Seuss books and the dog bookends. The square table is a family heirloom. It belonged to my great grandparents, Mama and Papa McNair. (Ella Vermell King McNair, Charles Franklin McNair)

First Day of School for Bryan Quillin -1954

 It has been the same throughout the ages. The first-time mother having her first born child leave the nest and go to school for the first time. I had a loving family, and Mother and Daddy cared so very much for me, my brother and my sister. In 1954, Mother sent Brayn to school for the first time, and she found this news article that fit so perfectly for sending him out into the world. I had the BEST mother in the whole world. There was SUCH quality in all that she taught her children. This is indicative of her love and compassion.

My Birthday Party - 31 Aug 1964

 I was born on 31 Aug 1956, just a day shy of September. Back then, school always started after September 1 and Labor Day. Mother didn't want me to be the oldest kid in the classroom, so she took castor oil...and sure enough I arrived at 8:00 pm on Aug 31. Here, I had just turned 8 and entering 3rd grade. 

For several years, I was allowed to have a birthday party and invite 10-15 friends. Paula and one of her friends, and sometimes my cousin Patricia Emmons, would conduct the birthday party, with games, blowing out the candle, and opening gifts. On this birthday, I received a Chatty Cathy doll. That doll, to this day, is in my attic. I especially love the group picture with the little girl (I don't remember her) has peering down at the doll.

The girl gazing at the doll :) bottom row far left, me with Chatty Cathy, Janie Dickey, Pam Collins
back row: Kim McLaughlin, Lisa Jones, Mary Jane Brantley, Marilyn Michie, Karen Naylor, Connie Osborn, Kim Lane, Jane Hendricks

Growing Up In Small Town America Part 15

 EDUCATION

Education had become the focus with one out of every 3 high school graduates going to college.  To be honest, I never thought college was an option.  The next step after high school was to enter college. I was lucky to be blessed with that opportunity and to have parents that financed everything as I was never in debt to begin my adult life. Standardized testing was done once a year or maybe every other year. They would pull the whole school for two days and we were walked across the street to the auditorium where long rows of tables were set up in the very large side room for the testing. The Iowa Test of Basic Skills (a standardized test implemented during that era) was a timed test for each segment. Teachers walked around as monitors, and there was complete silence. I remember enjoying these test days and the seemingly free time out of the classroom. It was never stressful, just something we did every year. In two days we had completed a standardized test that indicated our progress. There was certainly NEVER any prep work before these tests. The only other big test that I remember taking was the SAT and the ACT in order to get a ranking score. Larger universities had a cut-off point and I was able to do well enough on those tests to gain admission.

William Lawson Sr (1733-1826)

CAUTION

 I can only try to piece together the further information that I have about our Williams. I can not be sure at this point if the Willim documented below was a Revolutionary Soldier. I believe so...but I will keep digging his roots.

WILLIAM LAWSON, SR.

b. 26 June 1733 in Montrose, Scotland

d. 18April 1826, Snowflake, Scott Co., Virginia

**Revolutionary War Patriot

 SOURCES:

https://wc.rootsweb.com/cgi-bin/igm.cgi?op=GET&db=patti%2Dlawson&id=I00086

This is a huge RootsWeb compiled by Patti Lawson and Barb Lawson. I have been in touch with them and have supplied information and sources for my Quillin line. Their research is highly documented. I’m building this biography based on their research. I’m leaving out much detail from the website, but encourage family members who are interested in documentation to visit this site.

William Lawson, Sr. was at one time thought to be the Scottish Rebel who notoriously fought at the Battle of Culloden, but in 2016, an excellent researcher, Nancy J. Lawson travelled to Scotland, did extensive research and determined that he was NOT our ancestor. It was a very rich history and one that is difficult to let go, but it is better to let go and document our true line than to jump track and claim a glorious story as ours. I have actually visited that sacred battleground in Scotland and was awed by this man who at first was deemed my ancestor. (see the letter Nancy Lawson sent out to the Lawson Family Heritage Assoc.) It is definitive. Some persist to attach our family to The Rebel or another William that was a prisoner during the Uprising, but neither of these are the correct age.

William Lawson’s story leads to the same area where my Quillin roots are found in Virginia. This brings together the lives of my John Quillin and my Rebecca Lawson.

 William Lawson, our William, was born 26 JUN 1733 in Montrose, Scotland. The Jacobite rebellions or the War of the British Succession were a series of uprisings and wars in Great Britain and Ireland occurring between 1688 and 1746. William would have been a child about 12 years of age and he would have vivid memories of this brutal time. He sought for passage to the New World to escape these atrocities and arrived in the American Colonies in 1750. I have no information about his immigration.

From Bill Porter's works:
“William was bound out to a plantation owner for what we assume was seven years of indenture. Family tradition holds that he was treated unkindly and ran away after a year or so. We have been unable to determine his exact location of indenture but his known children were born in North Carolina where we have strong reason to assume he went when he ran away.” I’m not positive if this is our William or one of the others, but this information is still up on the Lawson website and my William Lawson Jr was born in NC.

 In early American history, indenture was a form of labor contract. Beginning during the colonial period, employers in the largely agricultural economy faced a labor shortage. They addressed it in two ways: by buying slaves and by hiring indentured servants. The former were Africans who were brought to the colonies against their will to serve for life; the latter were generally Europeans from England and Germany who had entered a multiyear employment contracts. From the late 16^th c to the late 18^th c, approximately half of the 350,000 European immigrants to the colonies were indentured servants. During the 17^th c, these servants outnumbered slaves. An indentured servant agreed to a 4-7 year contract, and in return received passage from Europe and guarantees of work, food, and lodging.  Colonial courts enforced the contracts of indentured servants, which were often harsh. Employers were seen as masters, and the servants had not only to work for them but also to obey their orders in all matters. For some, indentured servitude was not a voluntary act. Impoverished women and children were pressed into servitude, as were convicts. Nevertheless, this servitude was not equivalent to slavery. Slaves remained slaves for life, whereas indentured servants were released at the end of their contracts.  Moreover, as parties to a contract, indentured servants had rights that slaves never enjoyed. The practice of indentured servitude persisted into the early 19^th c.

 It is said that he was married before 1761 on New River in either North Carolina or Virginia. Nothing is known of his first wife, but she was the mother of all of his children. There is no documentation of this part of his life.  His children were born before the Revolution, all said to be born in NC. He married his second wife sometime after 1773. Her name was Rebecca and no marriage record has been found, so her last name remains unknown. Some family trees continue to confuse her with Jane Banks and they list our William as married to Rebecca Jane Banks.  That is NOT correct. There is another William Lawson in the area that is married to Jane Banks.

 THE AMERICAN REVOLUTION

 William Lawson, Sr. was sworn into Capt. Daniel Trigg’s Company on 13 Sep 1777 in Montgomery County, VA. This would have placed him at the Battle of King’s Mountain on October 7, 1780. The battle took place 9 miles south of the present-day town of Kings Mountain, NC, in what is now rural Cherokee County, SC. The Patriot Militia defeated the Loyalist Militia commanded by British Major Patrick Ferguson of the 71^st Foot. He would have been nearly 50 years old at this time of service.

 March 31, 1781 – William is listed as a Sergeant in Capt. Daniel Trigg’s Company in Montgomery Co, VA. From the notes of Daniel Trigg’s Company: “Of those who were not fit were William Lawson, et.al.” It is presumed he may have had a temporary illness or injury.

Nov. 12, 1782. Montgomery Co.,Va. –  There had been a tax imposed at a late assembly for the purpose of recruiting troops to serve the Continental Army. William must have been delinquent in paying his taxes and was ordered to do so by Nov 20. Source: Written by Col. William Preston to a Collector, Nov. 12, 1782, published in The Virginia Magazine of History and Biography by the Virginia Historical Society, Richmond, Va., January, 1920. Land records reveal that William promptly paid 15 pounds for 100 acres and another 15 pounds for 260 acres.

24 August 1786 – Col. Daniel Trigg and James McCorkle were ordered to divide the militia in the bounds of Lorton's Company, equally between Capt. Lorton and Capt. Englis. Minutes in the Court Order Book 1, page ? , show William Lawson named Lieutenant in Lorton's Company. (There has been some confusion as to which William Lawson was appointed Lieut. William Sr. was a Sergeant in Trigg's 1781 militia and this appointment represents a promotion in the newly formed militia. It would be highly improbable for William Lawson Jr., who had only six months of service at the age of 16-17 as a substitute who did not rise above the rank of Pvt., to be promoted to Lieutenant with command over this group of seasoned, experienced militiamen. William Lawson Sr. is first shown on Trigg's militia swearing oath in 1777.)
************

 1776-1797

Prior to the War, William Lawson Sr. had settled 300 acres in Montgomery County, Virginia, in 1776. This land was on Laurel Creek, a small branch of the Little River (Laurel Creek is located in present-day Floyd County, VA.)

 William fought in the Revolutionary War and was granted land for his service. On 3 Aug 1782, William received 200 acres from Israel Lorton. William was a Lieutenant in Lorton’s Company. This land transaction is detailed on the RootsWeb site. These 200 acres were on Sugar Run another branch of Little River, several miles north of his original Laurel Creek property. (Sugar Run is located in present-day Pulaski County, VA.) On 2 Dec 1785, the land grant for Sugar Run was signed by Patrick Henry, Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia. William Lawson Sr. paid Land Taxes and Personal Property Taxes in Montgomery Co. VA from 1782-1796.

 William continued to serve in the Militia, and in 1786, research indicates that he was promoted to Lieutenant in Lorton’s Company. Once again it appears that he was granted land for his service and he expanded his property on Sugar Run by 200 acres that was assigned to him by James Hines. This adjoining land ran north to Tarepine Run, and the land grant for this property was signed by Henry Lee, Governor of the Commonwealth of Virginia on 15 February 1793.

 On 26 July 1788, William sold 105 acres of Sugar Run to Eliazer Cole and it appears he sold the rest of it to Eliazer Cole on 14 Nov 1796. This coincides with William’s move to Russell County.

 1797-1826

William paid property taxes in Russell Co from 1797-1810.

William’s son, William Lawson Jr (my ancestor), had married in Montgomery Co, but he moved to Russell Co VA around 1794. William Lawson Sr. also purchased land in Russell County in August 1798 from John and Mary Frazer. (Russell County later became Scott County.) This purchase was for 155 acres on Big Mockason (Moccasin?) Creek, on the north fork of Holstein (Holston?) and known by the name of the Little Valley at the foot of Clinch Mountain. He later sold 75 acres of this land to John Wood. (1807) On June 3, 1816, his second wife Rebecca (maiden name unknown) was part of a transaction to sell 50 acres to John Smith, documented in Scott County Deed Book 1, pp 249-250. In Oct 1816, it read, “being of age she was separated and examined apart from her husband and gave voluntary deed consent.”  Did this mean that she had consolidated her property with William after their marriage? It’s unclear to me why she would have to give separate consent.

After his move to Russell Co VA, William is found in two separate volumes of VIRGINIA LAW ORDER BOOK (see website). These entries reveal that he received a servant on two separate occasions from John Frazer. William had purchased his land from Frazer so he probably inherited the servants, as well. It appears that William Sr also gave his son William Lawson Jr. three servants. These Law books show that William Sr and several others were called to appraise the slaves and personal estate of Jonathan Wood, Sr., decd.   Then some time after that, William received a servant from Jonathan Wood.

 William Lawson Sr was found in the 1820 Census dated August 7, 1820 in Scott Co.VA. He is engaged in agriculture and there are 2 free white persons living in his household. This would be in reference to William and his second wife, Rebecca. He was 87 at the time of this census. He would have been living very close to his son, William Lawson Jr (my ancestor).  It is said that he died 18 April 1826 in Snowflake, Scott Co. VA at the age of 92 and is buried in the Lawson Confederate Cemetery just outside of Snowflake.

Nancy J Lawson's Research

 Nancy J Lawson made several trips to Scotland in 2017.

This lady did amazing things uncovering the true identity of our William Lawson. Here is a copy of the sincere letter that she wrote to the Lawson Association. I can only hope that others will accept her research in our search for the truth. 

FINDING OUR TRUE WILLIAM 

 by Nancy J. Lawson, 13 Sep 2017 

 My name is Nancy Jo Lawson from Cross Lanes, West Virginia and I am a descendant of William Lawson of Montrose Scotland. My Lawson line is: William (1733), Travis (1766), John (1791), William Banks (1825), George Washington (1865), John Dolan (1904), and Roy Lee (1935). 

 I started researching my Lawson ancestry after stumbling upon the Lawson Family Heritage Program website in 2007. The LFHP led me to Patti Lawson’s tremendous Lawson Family Database and all the incredible research done by others, especially Bill Porter’s book, William Lawson – A Scottish Rebel (1). Like many descendants of “The Rebel”, I embraced the story of young William of Montrose and his perilous journey to America as a Jacobite prisoner aboard the ship Gildart. And although many more experienced and knowledgeable researchers had already agreed upon this narrative, I wanted to discover the facts for myself. I wanted to experience the excitement of finding those historical records on my own. In 2008 my journey began in earnest by searching in cemeteries and courthouses from Breathitt County, Kentucky to Scott County, Virginia. I wasn’t really looking for anything new; I was just following a trail that many others had traveled before me. 

 While I have been able to confirm much of what is already known about our William, there are two facts stated by many that I have not been able to reconcile. The first is that his birth year was 1731. In History of the Wood Family in Virginia, by M. B. Wood (2), three items in particular are of great significance: 

     1) "He was the only son of a widow lady, who lived at Montrose, Scotland, and was born   June 26, 1733" (pg. 35) 

     2) “He married on New River, and a few years thereafter moved to Big Moccasin Creek, where he lived till the time of his death, in 1826, in the ninety-third year of his age" (pg. 37)

     3) “William Lawson was born June 26, 1733 (pg. 79); William Lawson, Sr., died April   18, 1826”; Transcribed from Henry Wood’s Bible (pg. 81) 

 M.B. Wood, who was Scott County Clerk in the 1870’s, was William Lawson’s great-grandson. His grandparents were Henry Wood and Sally Lawson, William’s daughter. He was writing and living much closer to the time when people who actually knew our William were still around and telling stories about him. I believe most genealogists would agree that this adds credibility to the details in Wood’s book. He writes that our William died in 1826 in the 93rd year of his age, which makes his birth year 1733, not 1731. 

 I found another source in the Scott County Public Library entitled, The Quillin (MacQullin) Family by Milligan Wood Quillen and Mary Kinser Brown (3), which also confirms William’s birth and death dates: 

         “John Quillin, b. 1793 in NC acquired the land of his father in Scott Co., Va. He m. 1st Rebecca Lawson, eldest daughter of William Lawson, Jr. a Revolutionary War Veteran    whose father William Lawson, Sr., was an immigrant from Montrose, Scotland, b. June 26, 1733; d. 1826” (pg. 47) 

 Given the reliability of these two sources, I believe our William was born in 1733, not 1731. The importance of this 2-year time difference became very clear as my research progressed. 

 The second source that I question as proof of William’s provenance is Prisoners of the ’45 – Edited from the State Papers by Bruce Gordon Seton and Jean Gordon Arnot (4). Volume II, pages 334-337, lists two William Lawson’s; the first one having been identified by many as our William. 

 No. 1534 NAME: Lawson, William REGIMENT: --- (none listed) PRISON CAREER: Clackmannan, 4.5.46 Stirling Castle, Carlisle ULTIMATE DISPOSAL: Transported (we know from David Dobson’s work that the ship was Gildart (5)) HOME OR ORIGIN: Durham AGE: --- (none listed) NOTES AND AUTHORITIES: Soldier (Scots Fusiliers, Capt. Monk’s Co.), a deserter – J.R Stirling; P.R. 3621-3 (references to Jail Returns of Stirling and Patent Rolls of George II) 

 Even though many people jumped on board the claim that this man was our William, I always had my doubts. First, his home is listed as Durham which is a city and county in England over 200 miles from Montrose, Scotland. Also, this William from Durham was a soldier in the British Army; a professionally trained, uniformed, and armed soldier fighting in Captain Monk’s Company of Scots Fusiliers for the Duke of Cumberland against the Jacobite Rebels. He was imprisoned as a deserter in the aftermath of the massacre at Culloden, and transported as punishment for his crimes. This isn’t the poor, teenaged, Scottish Highland boy described by M.B. Wood and others. I really wanted the “William Lawson, Scottish Rebel transported on the Gildart” story to be our William’s story. The firsthand narrative of the Carlisle Prisoners banished on the Gildart by Alexander Stewart in The Lyon in Mourning (6) was exciting and romantic and inspiring. And even though the puzzle pieces didn’t exactly fit, like many others I chose to accept it. So much so, that in 2013 I decided to celebrate my 50th birthday by walking in the footsteps of my beloved ancestor in Scotland. I hiked up the hill behind Balquhidder Kirk to Creag an Tuirc, the rallying spot of Clan MacLaren. I wandered the narrow streets of Montrose, and drank a wee dram (or two) at a harbor side pub. I somberly walked the battlefield at Culloden, then laid flowers at our William’s memorial stone in the walkway to the Visitor’s Center (placed there by another descendant, Cary Losson, whom I’ve never met.) I even sat on the cold stone floor of an 18th century prison cell at Stirling Castle, trying to imagine what life must have been like for my 5th great-grandfather. The last few days of my trip were spent researching at the UK National Archives in Kew, England, where I found the original handwritten list of Carlisle Prisoners who drew lots for transportation on 17 Aug 1746. (7) I held the actual document in my hands and found William Lawson’s name right there, listed in the 7th group of prisoners. Amazing! That first trip began my everlasting love affair with Scotland and I return as often as time and my pocketbook will allow. Each visit I discover something new and amazing about our William, and my trip in May 2016 was no exception. 

 At the UK National Archives again, I uncovered compelling evidence that the “Gildart” William Lawson is not my 5th great-grandfather, the man buried at Lawson Confederate Memorial Cemetery in Snowflake, Virginia. I was devastated. 

 There are two specific documents that I discovered which corroborate my claim, and finding them was not easy. Most of the UKNA documents concerning the Jacobite Uprising of 1745 are in the numbered record series entitled “State Papers, Domestic George II: SP 36.” This series contains 162 volumes, of which only the first 72 are indexed. So to browse the remaining 90 volumes, I had to visit the archives in person and painstakingly go through them, one by one. The first document I found is SP 36/88 Ext. 6/23. (8) The “Ext” stands for “extracted” meaning the document was too large to fit in the regular Archive bundles and had to be viewed upstairs in the Large Documents Reading Room. It is a very large chart of several pages listing 140 prisoners in Carlisle chosen for transport, written 26 Oct 1746 by Richard Gildart, the contractor for transporting them. The columns are as follows: Number/Their Names/ Age/ What Trade/ What Religion. #93 is William Lawson (annotated L for large), 25, Naylor (meaning nail maker), England. 

IN HER PAPER, THERE IS A PHOTOCOPY OF THIS DOCUMENT

 The second document, SP 36/88/1/140, (9) was so fragile that it could only be viewed on microfilm. It is another list of the same prisoners at Carlisle, written by Philip Carteret Webb. #48 is William Lawson of Newcastle-upon-Tyne, Blacksmith. 

IN HER PAPER, THERE IS A PHOTOCOPY OF THIS DOCUMENT

 These two documents, combined, give a detailed description of the William Lawson who was transported to Maryland aboard the ship Gildart: He was a 25-year-old blacksmith, specifically a nail maker, from Newcastle-upon-Tyne in Durham County, England. He was also a member of the Church of England. Most, if not all, of the Jacobites of Angus were Church of Scotland. This man was definitely not the William Lawson described by M.B. Wood: 

 "At the age of seventeen William Lawson was allured away from home by the reports from America, and after a long and tempestuous voyage he landed in Virginia, and was bound as an apprentice to a planter by the captain of the ship, for which the planter paid him a good sum in tobacco for the expense of the voyage.” (pg. 36) (2) 

 My 5th great-grandfather came from Montrose, Scotland (not Durham, England) to Virginia (not Maryland) when he was 17 years old (not 26). He was allured away from home by reports from America (not banished as a prisoner aboard a convict ship). He was born in 1733 which means he arrived in Virginia around 1750 (not Maryland in 1747). He was bound as an apprentice (not sold as an indentured servant.) The discrepancies are too numerous to disregard. 

 I was so distraught over what I had discovered because I knew it would invalidate everything we thought we all knew about our William Lawson’s journey to America. I kept my findings to myself for a few weeks, agonizing over what I should do. In August 2016, I decided to share my discoveries with Patti Lawson and Barb Lawson from the LFHP. We had emailed a few times over the years since I began my ancestry journey. I respected and admired their dedication to our Lawson genealogy research, and I knew they would know what to do next. I sent them all of my research to see if they would reach the same conclusions. They were shocked and a little overwhelmed, but their responses were both encouraging and sympathetic. 

 Patti said, “Hang in there Nancy. I take your research quite seriously. It's not like you are just throwing together random stuff and imagining what you are seeing. I see it too. Your dedication to this research is wonderful.” 

 Barb replied, “We have said for years, that someday a researcher will show up, with the knowledge and know-how to dig in the history of Scotland and know when they find something. I think that is YOU! and we are excited and pleased to have you on board with us.” 

 Their advice and confidence in my research meant EVERYTHING to me. They suggested bringing Fran Harris, one of the original LFHP planners, into the loop because of her keen research skills and knowledge of American Colonial History. Fran is the person who found the earliest record we have of our William – the 1776 Land Deed in Fincastle County, VA. Later, Toni Beard and Julie Miller (two more original LFHP members) were included in the discussions, widening our circle of trust. We all agreed that we needed to get our ducks in a row before presenting my findings to the world. There were many, many lengthy conversations about a plan of action and future research needed. Honestly, the email chain that ensued between us over the past year has been like a Master Class in Genealogy Research for me. These women are incredible! They have encouraged me to “keep digging” and I have. 

 In May 2017 I returned to Scotland for the sole purpose of finding our true William Lawson. During my visits to the Angus Archives in Forfar, the Montrose Museum and Montrose Public Library in Montrose, and the Scotland’s People Centre in Edinburgh, I found many documents and sources for Lawson’s in Angus County in the mid-18th century. All of these new leads require further investigation. 

 My search elsewhere in Edinburgh, however, was more successful. At the National Library of Scotland I was granted limited access to the original Prison Returns, which contained list after list of all the men imprisoned in Scottish Gaols (Jails) during the 1745 Uprising. (10) I confirmed in these documents all the information for the Gildart William in Seton’s Prisoners of the ’45. (4) Seton’s book also lists another William Lawson from Perthshire who was a tenant of Lord Strathallan, and I confirmed him in the Prison Returns, as well. 

 To also rule out this William as ours, I located the forfeiture records of the Strathallan Estate by the British Government as punishment for Acts of Treason, at the National Records of Scotland. (11) In these records was a deposition given by William Lawson as tenant, explaining that his family had lived on the Perthshire Estate of Lord Strathallan for generations, never in Montrose. I also found this William and other Lawson family members in Lord Strathallan’s rent rolls from the 1730’s. (12) I did not find any other William Lawson concerned in the Jacobite Uprising of 1745 in any other source that I consulted in Scotland. 

 I don’t believe our William Lawson is either man in Prisoners of the ’45. All the evidence I have found during my many trips to Scotland leads me to believe that he was just a boy of 12 or 13 during the Jacobite Uprising and didn’t participate in any of the battles, therefore not imprisoned for treason. I believe that, when he became old enough, he simply left Scotland for a better life in America as hardships in Montrose became unbearable after the Scottish Rebels were defeated at Culloden.

 I am sure that the modern-day researchers who discovered the Gildart story in “Lyon”, and the William in “P45”, then loosely connected them to the story from M.B. Wood’s book, had the best intentions. They just didn’t have access to the resources that are available now, and they forced the puzzle pieces to fit. At first I felt horrible about disproving anyone‘s hard work, until Barb Lawson put it all into perspective by telling me “when doing any Gen work, you have to be ready to accept changes as additional proof becomes so.” My new evidence proves the Gildart William is not our ancestor, and the story of William Lawson, the Scottish Rebel who fought at Culloden, is no longer ours to tell. 

 By unmasking The Rebel, I feel like I have lost a loved one. Even though we aren’t kin, I feel a kinship to him. I have prayed in his churches, stood on his battlefields, sat quietly in his prison cells, and retraced his journey from Carlisle Castle to Liverpool Harbor. William Lawson, The Scottish Rebel, had an incredible life; but, through no fault of his own, my 5th great-grandfather buried in Snowflake, Virginia has been given credit for it. I strongly believe that it is now our responsibility to correct the mistakes of the past and make this right. Maybe in the process we can uncover the incredible life led by our own true William Lawson. 

 Works Cited

 1. Porter, Bill. William Lawson, a Scottish Rebel: and other pioneer families of southern Appalachia. Johnson City, TN : Overmountain Press, 2001.

 2. Wood, M.B. History of the Wood Family in Virginia. Philadelphia : J.B. Lippencott Company, 1893.

 3. Quillen, Milligan Wood and Brown, Mary Kinser. The Quillin (MacQuillin) Family. Gate City, Virginia : Quillin Clan, 1961.

 4. Seton, Bruce Gordon and Arnot, Jean Gordon. Prisoners of the '45 - Edited from the State Papers. Edinburgh : University Press, 1928.

 5. Dobson, David. Directory of Scots Banished to the American Plantations 1650-1775. Baltimore : Genealogical Publishing, Inc., 1983.

 6. Forbes, Rev. Robert. The Lyon in mourning; or, A collection of speeches, letters, journals, etc. relative to the affairs of Prince Charles Edward Stuart. Edinburgh : University Press for the Scottish History Society, 1895.

 7. The National Archives of the UK. Lotts Drawn at Carlisle 17-19 August 1746 by 140 Rebel Prisoners, Treasury Solicitor: Jacobite Rebellion (1745) Prosecution Papers, TS 20/44/6. Kew, United Kingdom : Copy of document in possession of N. Lawson, April 2014.

 8. The National Archives of the UK. List of the Names of the Prisoners in Carlisle as transmitted to Mr. Sharpe by Mr. Gildart the Contractor, 26 Oct 1746. Secretaries of State: State Papers Domestic, George II, SP 36/88 Ext 6/23. Kew, United Kingdom : Copy of document in possession of N. Lawson, July 2016.

 9. The National Archives of the UK. List of the Names of the Prisoners in Carlisle as transmitted to Mr. Sharpe by Mr. Webb, 9 Oct 1746. Secretaries of State: State Papers Domestic, George II, SP 36/88/18/140. Kew, United Kingdom : Copy of document in possession of N. Lawson, July 2016.

 10. National Library of Scotland. The Walter Blaikie Manuscript Collection. MSS-288 Jacobite Prisoners 1745-7. Edinburgh, Scotland : 1745. Copy of documents in possession of N. Lawson, May 2017.

 11. National Records of Scotland. Abstract Rental Account of Arrears for 1746 & preceedings And Report of the Survey of the Estate of Strathallan. E782-1. Edinburgh, Scotland : 1746. Copy of documents in possession of N. Lawson, May 2017.

 12. National Records of Scotland. Viscount Strathallan 1603-1751. RH15/123. Edinburgh, Scotland : 1736. Copy of documents in possession of N. Lawson, May 2017.

LAWSON RESEARCH FALLS APART

https://colin-butler.squarespace.com/news/2021/3/1/scotland-special-event-gb2cr

 As with any genealogy project, we have to be ready to change directions when new records are discovered. And as we know with all the sources online now, it is difficult to set the record straight once information is published on the internet.

My journey with the Lawson line began with two special Lawson family researchers, Patti Lawson and Barb DeCainy Lawson. I found evidence that our John Quillin was married to Rebecca Lawson, and I found a tremendous website managed by Patti Lawson. She was an extreme genealogist who took much pride in her research, as did Barb. Together they had created an extensive website including many lines of the Lawson families. 

As usual, I was very timid and unsure about my skills (I never give myself enough credit), so I was reluctant to contact them. I finally got up the nerve and they investigated my claims, and I was definitely accepted into their database. They even included the information down to B.J. Quillin, my great grandfather.

However, in 2017, another dedicated researcher, Nancy J Lawson, made several trips to Scotland and spent many days in the archives there. She struggled with what she found. It definitely revealed that our ancestor was NOT the William Lawson... known as THE REBEL. That was a glorious story and we all were proud of that history. Derek and I had even travelled to Culloden and I felt a total connection with this history....Yet true research revealed that this man was JUST NOT our ancestor. There had even been a huge monument erected for him on his gravesite, to which our family had connected its roots.

There was much trouble in correcting this information, and it may never be totally turned around. Patti and Barb have dropped out of the scene. I stayed in close contact with Barb for several years, but we have dropped away from our work together. Patti was a little fierier...and more difficult to correspond with. I think when this happened, she threw in the towel, so to speak. Now these websites have been gobbled up by larger entities like Ancestry...which is wrong in my opinion. We may never be able to access the work that has been done. Many genealogists are just not willing to let go of what they feel is correct. But for me, Nancy Lawson's research cannot be refuted. We must make changes on our tree. 

See her letter to the Lawson Association in the next blog.

History Sheet for Rebecca Lawson

 

Rebecca Lawson **

 

Rebecca Lawson ** was born in 1792 in Montgomery County, Virginia, USA as the third child of William Lawson Jr. ** and Nancy Mary Baker. She had eleven siblings, namely: Catherine, Elizabeth, Lavina, Jeremiah, William III, Rhoda, James H., Jane, Hiram, Henry, and Servina "Linna". She died in Jan 1861 in Copper Creek, Scott, Virginia (Thrown from a horse). When she was 22, she married John W. Quillin Sr. **,son of TEAGUE "Timothy" Quillin V and Margaret "Peggy" Nation**, in 1814.

 Rebecca Lawson ** lived in Scott, Virginia, USA in 1830. She lived in Western District, Scott, Virginia in 1850. She lived in Scott, Virginia, United States in 1860.

 John W. Quillin Sr. ** and Rebecca Lawson ** had the following children:

         1.    Anderson C. Quillin was born on 14 Nov 1816 in Scott County, Virginia, USA. He died on 20             Jul     1883 in Hancock County, Tennessee, USA. He married Mary "Polly" Addington on 23 Jan             1836 in     Scott, Virginia, United States.

2.    Martin Bird Quillin was born on 21 Jul 1818 in Scott County, Virginia, USA. He died on 28 Jun 1885 in Scott County, Virginia, USA. He married Anna Doty Addington on 16 Jun 1838 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA.

3.    Thomas M. Quillin was born on 20 Aug 1819 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. He died on 16 Nov 1896 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. He married Eleanor Spillson Spencer on 06 Apr 1842 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. He married Rachel Louise Cleek on 03 Mar 1886 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA.

4.    Nancy Baker Quillin was born on 15 Sep 1824 in Scott County, Virginia, USA. She died on 20 Jul 1891 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. She married William K Starnes on 09 Apr 1837 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. She married Abraham Zachery Lane on 14 Feb 1882 in Scott, Virginia.

5.    Jackson Lawson Quillin was born in 1826 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA. He died in 1905 in Whitesburg, Hamblen, Tennessee, USA. He married Eliza B Housley in 1852.

6.    James Henry Quillin was born in 1828 in Scott County, Virginia, USA. He died on 21 Nov 1906 in Scott County, Virginia, United States of America. He married Sarah Greear on 17 Jan 1847 in Scott, Virginia.

7.    Henry S Quillin was born on 06 Feb 1830 in Copper Ridge, Scott Co. VA. He died on 06 Dec 1862 in Washington County, Virginia, USA (died in Civil War). He married Nancy Davidson on 15 Jun 1847 in Scott Co, Virginia, USA.

8.    IRA D. Quillin ** was born in 1831 in Scott, Virginia. He died between 1862–1863 in Near, Manassas, Virginia, USA. He married Edna Vineyard ** on 18 Oct 1849 in Scott, Virginia.

9.    Mary Ann 'Polly' Quillin was born on 07 Dec 1834 in Scott, Virginia, United States. She died on 26 Oct 1886 in Fort Blackmore, Scott, Virginia, United States. She married Johnson Starnes on 25 Mar 1851 in Virginia, United States.

 

Her death was stated on the Death Register as being thrown from a horse at the age of 69. She and John were living on Copper Creek in Scott County, Virginia at the time.

Sources for Rebecca Lawson

Personal Interviews: Barb and Pattti Lawson. They had an EXTENSIVE website of research. I lost touch with Patti when it was discovered that William Lawson was NOT the REBEL Lawson. Substantial Research was done by Nancy J Lawson in 2017 when she went and spent a long time in the archives.

 Nancy J Lawson’s Research Paper

 1830 United States Federal Census: Scott, Virginia; Series: M19; Roll: 200; Page: 25; Family History Library Film: 0029679

 1850 United States Federal Census: Western District, Scott, Virginia; Roll: M432_975; Page: 428B; Image: .

 1860 United States Federal Census Place: Scott, Virginia; Roll: ; Page: 381; Image: 393.

 Ancestry.com, Virginia, Deaths and Burials Index, 1853-1917 (Online publication - Provo, UT, USA: Ancestry.com Operations, Inc., 2011.Original data - "Virginia Deaths and Burials, 1853–1912." Index. FamilySearch, Salt Lake City, Utah, 2010. Index entries derived from digital copies of original and compiled records.), Ancestry.com, Birth date:  abt 1792  Birth place:    Death date:  Jan 1861  Death place:  Copper Creek, Virginia.

 Virginia, Select Marriages, 1785-1940 (Provo UT, USA, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc. 2014)

 Yates Publishing, U.S. and International Marriage Records, 1560-1900 (Ancestry.com Operations Inc, 2004.

 Virginia, U.S., Death Registers, 1853-1911. Library of Virginia, Richmond, Ancestry.com Operations, Inc. 2022

 https://lawsondna.org/home/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/FindingWilliam.pdf

https://www.genealogy.com/ftm/q/u/i/Ronnie-Quillin/WEBSITE-0001/UHP-0802.html

Ancestors of Rebecca Lawson

 

Rebecca Lawson Family Group Sheet

 

Rebecca Lawson Pedigree

My Lawson Line begins with John Quillin's first wife. They were the parents of my great-great grandfather Ira D Quillin. 

When Rebecca died, John married a second time to Martha Jewel to which he had 5 more children.

 

Colorado and Yellowstone - 1953

 When we were little, Mother and Daddy loved to vacation in Colorado. In 1953, before I was born, they took Bryan and Paula to Colorado and then ventured on up into Wyoming to see Yellowstone. This was 3 years before I was born. 

Denver Zoo

Bryan and Carolita Quillin - Old Faithful

Paula and Carolita Quillin - Old Faithful

Bryan, Paula and Carolita Quillin

All Tucked In

Vintage & Antique Sheet Music & Song Books | eBay (pinterest.com)

1913 Sheet Music Irving Berlin

 SNOOKY OOKUMS

Like...where did something like that come from...

In our first year of marriage…somewhere I picked up the word, snooky ookums. I saw it written again not long ago which made me want to research. It is REALLY a thing 👍 

Most every night, Derek says “Sweet Dreams” and I reply, “Snooky Ookums.” It always just sounded warm and comfortable. I found these lyrics AND I found it on YouTube so I listened to it over and over. I had no idea!  It’s a sweet song from a movie sung by Judy Garland and Frank Sinatra.

Judy Garland – Snooky Ookums lyrics

All night long he calls her snookey ookum, snookey ookums.
All they do is talk like babies.
She's his jelly elly roll.
He's her sugey ugar bowl.
Hear the way they bill and coo, poogywoo,poogywoo, poogywoo?
All night long he calls her snookey ookums, snookey ookums.
All night long the neighbors shout "Cut it out! Cut it out! Cut it out!"
They cry, "For goodness sake don't keep us all awake with your snookey, ookey, ookey , baby talk!"

Focus on the WHO, Not the WHY

How do you bounce back from situations that knock you down? It's hard when you are depleted and challenged to maintain hope. It's hard because you become disillusioned. We may never know why something happens, but if we linger on the "why", we become bitter. We become disillusioned with God. Shaking off that disillusionment is the key to getting back up. It allows you to see that you haven't been abandoned. God will use you for something that you would have never encountered. He will give you an opportunity hidden behind diversity. It's all part of a plan. Focus on the WHO (trust God) not the why.

America Must Wake Up

 

For older Americans, these traits are unacceptable. They show poor character and a lack of responsibility. Parents are ultimately responsible for teaching their children a sense of respect and responsibility. I’m fearful for the America the next generation will deal with. We must not forget the principles our founders used as the foundation for our democracy. 

Understanding Others