We were there in 1998
TRULY UNDERSTANDING MYSELF
For me, I felt the world fell apart in 2020, as well as in my personal life in 2022. I began to question myself and my belief system, trying to understand why there was such hostility with the Black Lives Matter movement. I truly tried to fit myself into the shoes of a black person, to understand their point of view, to come to grips with what I may be doing to make them STILL feel such prejudice against the white people. In true form, it has taken me several years to sort that out!
I don't come to conclusions quickly, but over these past few years, all of the above has swirled in my head. With the last election, I realize that I am not alone in standing my ground for what I believe is right and just. In the next few posts, I am sharing why I am the way I am/who I am/my belief system as I have always known it. It is also what I believe is the foundation of our American culture, as well. I can no longer make apologies for that. It goes WAY deeper than me. It's in my ROOTS.
My Prequel to Judea Christian Values
In the past month, I have read and heard several things that have led me to consider why I have struggled. The answers have become clear to me through written history. Look at our natural world. Humans bring degradation to that. The animals act in a pure and natural way. But throughout the ages, man has been brutal to man. Going back to the beginning of time, we have to understand if man is inherently good or inherently evil. My mother once challenged my husband to determine the answer to that question. It took him quite a while to conclude, which was her conclusion as well, though he didn't know it at the time, that man is inherently evil. Children are born with a clean slate and must be taught what is right and wrong; what is good and evil. Our Judeo-Christian beliefs bring order to the chaos and gives purpose and meaning to life. Without that, there is no hope. So, I have delved deeply into that belief system.
Go back in time and read the history written by the people who lived during those ages - 100 A.D to the present which is what my husband has done; go back to the archaeological sites, visit the museums like my husband and I and his mother have done, read the Bible, another history book written by those who lived in that time. It is there for all of us to understand, to give us hope and light and faith. Never underestimate the power of God. And do not rewrite history.
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Alongside this struggle with black history, family issues compounded my belief system when in 2022, which I dub as the year from hell for my family, all questions of who I am came into play.
As far as reconciliation for my personal family, I pray for strength to stand for what is truth, all the while trying to keep my faith, be kind and gentle and understanding. But once again, there are values that I hold near that I will not compromise. There are evils in this world, one of which is the abuse of alcohol. There was a reason I left that behind years ago, but it has torn asunder the last little family I have left. They continue to imbibe, and it has wreaked havoc on their small family, and as Mother always said, "Nothing happens in a vacuum", so my world has been greatly affected, as well. I am collateral damage. I may address this more later, but for now, I mention it because it has been another area where I have had to make a stand for my own truths and values at a great cost.
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