My First Birthday

 1957

These pictures were taken in Thalia, Texas, where Mimi and Pappy lived. 
Mimi made this cake for me. 

Mimi (Ava Ella Jones) is holding me.

My First Birthday

 1957

Mimi, my grandmother Ava Ella Jones, made elaborate cakes for the grandchildren. I am pictured here sitting on her lap in Thalia, Texas. 

Mother, Carolita Jones Quillin, is holding the cake for the picture.

This picture was exposed when it was taken out of the camera. It is a picture of my mother looking with delight at the special cake that Mimi made.

I come from a humble background. Though we didn't have much as I grew up, we didn't want for anything. Mother always said that about her life growing up in the depression, too. Daddy had an 8th grade education, which wasn't unusual. He was a self-made man, becoming a community leader with a good woman backing him. Mother graduated and went to nursing school during the war. I was raised in a Christian environment with a 'solid-as-a-rock' foundation. I never doubted that both Mother and Daddy loved me with agape love. It was important that I learn all the social norms which became ingrained in me. It's a philosophy and a sense of well-being that stays with you for a lifetime. I grew up living near extended family, which is what is missing today. I knew all of my grandparents very well and knew half of my great-grandparents. Through them, I learned love and respect for family. I had many cousins in the area, and they were my first playmates. THESE things are irreplaceable and create a quality environment for any child. I am grateful and thankful for my family. I carry it much deeper than most.

I Can Sleep Anywhere

 

Letter from Lessie Irena "Trena" McNair

 I love this letter on many levels. It is written from someone who connects me to 4 generations back in family history. It is HAND written, and it is about my great-grandfather. 

Ova sent me a copy of this letter that was written by Lessie Trena. Lessie Trena was one of Papa's younger sisters. She was born in 1888. In this letter, Lessie Trena tells Ova a story about when Papa (Charles Franklin McNair) was a baby and how he was saved by eating bacon. It seems that after the doctor gave up on Papa, an old traveling man came and spent the night with their mom and dad (Mack McNair and Sarah (Henderson) McNair). 

Lessie Trena mentions that fact that Sarah has asthma which confirms what Mother told me about her. Lessie also mentions her brother Alfred Minlus McNair and her sister Thelma Iowa McNair. 

Mama and Papa were the masters at using natural remedies. This letter reveals that it was passed down to them. It was just what people had to do back then. I remember a home remedy that Papa swore by. Papa said that if you have a sore throat to drink grape juice. When I was little, of course I had sore throats. I would always drink grape juice and it would take the soreness away. 

Correspondence with Mother and Ova

 MAY 1991

Tribute to Ova McNair Kerr

 As I began my search for my McNair ancestors, my grandmother's sister, Ova, was a great help. It was interesting to visit with her. She was so kind and pleasant. The women of the McNair family all had gentle spirits. I loved her from afar. Ova passed away in 2006, and I am grateful to have known her.

Ova McNair Kerr

Christmas 2003 & 2004

After Ova died, I received a letter from her daughter, Cindy.

Pictured above: Martin Frank Jones, Ova Kerr, Ron & Cindy Vick (Ova's daughter).

Ova had moved to South Carolina to live near her daughter, Cindy. They buried Ova in Stillwater, Oklahoma next to her husband Paul Kerr.

Ella McNair's Possessions

 These are in the possession of my cousin, Pamela Jackson Torbet. 

Ella McNair's Personal Items

 

Ella McNair's Treasures

 These are in the possession of my cousin, Pamela Jackson Torbet.

Hull pottery

Limoges China

Ella McNair's Iron

 In possession of Pamela Jackson Torbet

Ella Vermell (King) McNair

 The following was written in 1990 and sent to me by Ella's daughter, Ova. Ova was my grandmother's sister. I remember the first time I talked to her on the phone, I cried because her voice sounded like Mimi (Ava Ella McNair Jones).

 RECOLLECTIONS FROM A DAUGHTER

                   by Ova Orene (McNair) Kerr

  
     Mama first saw Papa when he came to their house to apply
for a teacher's job.  Mama's father, W. L. King, was on the
school board.  Mama and Aunt Rilla were together in the
field, each saying, "He's mine."  They threw cotton balls at
him.
 
     Mama and Rilla eventually went to school under Papa.
Mama said that when she could she would slip out for school
with her Sunday dress on.
 
     Papa could have made a Red Skelton type of comic.  He
would put on skits at B.Y.P.W. socials and have everyone
convulsed with laughter, me included.  He did "Mary Had a
Little Lamb" laughing and then crying, I remember.
 
     Papa was a good preacher.  I've never had a pastor that
comes up to him.  He was well-read and studied a lot.  The
librarian at Vernon said he read more than anyone, and I read
most of the books he checked out.
 
     I attended Lockett School from the 5th grade to the 10th
grade.  We walked nearly 2 miles to and from school.  The car
was îÑïÑôÑ used to take us.  Early in the 1930's during January,
there was a family of seven that Papa was taking care of.
Ice covered the ground for nearly the whole month, but every
morning, Papa would take a kettle of hot water, start the
Model A and take fresh butter, milk, oranges, etc., to this
large family.  They lived miles in the country.
 
     He never aspired to be more than a country preacher.
That's what he wanted to be.  He took care of his flock.
 
     One member was having trouble with alcohol.  Papa
learned that the problem stemmed from this man's visits to
town on Saturday nights.  Papa went to town with him for six
weeks.  The man told him, "I think I'm okay."  But Papa
insisted on several more weeks.  The man overcame his
problem.
 
     In his later years, Papa ran into a man in Vernon who
introduced Papa to his friend as the man who saved his life.
The man had been very ill and was dying from an infected
tooth.  The Dr. had told this man that he should call his
minister.  When Papa arrived, he asked for lots of chewing
tobacco and used this with hot water and spent the night
placing hot packs on the man.  The man recovered.
 
     I never saw Papa or Mama sick until they were on their
death beds.  Papa was 90.  Mama was 81.
 
     I still use some of the remedies they used.
 
     Mama was an "angel" as my sister Lillian said to me
before her death.  Mama was the oldest child in a family of
10 girls and 4 boys.  she helped raise at least 10 of them.
No one could claim a better family than hers.
 
     Mama was very strong - physically, emotionally and
spiritually.  I cannot remember a single quarrel between Mama
and Papa.  With us, she was the kindest and most genteel
person one could imagine.  She never exhibited anger towards
me.  She loved everyone and never gossiped or maligned
anyone.
 
     While at Lockett where Papa was Pastor 10 years, she
served as a midwife with the doctor for many church members.
This was true of other pastorates as well.
 
     Mama canned and put up jelly and preserves.  She quilted
and sewed.  She shared with neighbors and us.  I've known her
to take many lovely trays of meals to the sick or shut-ins.
 
     Proverbs 31:10-31 was read at her funeral and described
her perfectly.  I still miss her.

Ella Vermell (King) McNair

In 1991, I put together my first booklet for the McNair family. I was a fledgling genealogist and I had the help of my mother and my grandmother's sister, Ova McNair Kerr. This post is what Mother (Carolita Quillin) wrote for that booklet.

RECOLLECTIONS FROM A GRANDDAUGHTER
 
          by Carolita Jones Quillin - September 1990
 
 
I REMEMBER MAMA.  Her name was Ella.  I called her Mama.....
 
     Ella Vermell King McNair was born November 6, 1883 in
Dalton, Georgia, Murray County.  She was the first of 14
children born to William Lazarus and Emily Melissa Hulsey
King.  When Ella was 7 years old in the year 1890, the family
moved from Georgia to Texas in covered wagons.  There were 6
children at that time.  They settled in Erath County at Bluff
Dale.  One sister was born there.  The family then moved to
Moody, Texas, in McLennan County (Waco area).  There, 4 more
sisters and 1 brother was born.
 
     One of Ella's school teachers was Frank McNair.  She
married him on June 6, 1903, in Bethel Baptist Chapel,
Bethany, Texas, McLennan County.  After their marriage,
Ella's parents moved to Tye, Texas, in Taylor County in 1903.
Ella's first child, Ava, was born 21 April 1904, in Eddy,
Texas, McLennan County.  When Ava was 19 days old, Ella and
Frank moved to Abilene, Texas, Taylor County, in 1904.
 
     After their move to Abilene sometime between 1905-06, a
son, Bernie, was born.  Frank took Bernie fishing with him
and they sat on the damp ground.  Bernie took acute Brights
Disease and lived only 5 days.  He is buried in Jones County,
somewhere near Leuders and Avoca.  There is a place there
called Bunkers Hill (Fort Phantom Hill?) where at one time a
battle was fought.  Ella and Frank were crushed by his death
and Frank never wanted anyone to mention him.  Ella had saved
one of his little suits and a pair of his button-up high top
shoes.  When Frank found out she had them stored along with
the love letters he had written her, he was very unhappy.
When Ella was stricken with  a stroke and was in the
convalescent home, Frank burned the clothes and all the
letters and tore up the trunk they were stored in.  They said
Bernie looked like Ella.  He had dark skin and eyes.
     A brother of Ella's, Perry King who was an ordained
Baptist minister, baptized Frank.  Ella had another brother,
Boyd King, who was in full time ministry.  Boyd was a singer,
and he would lead the singing and Perry would preach in
revivals.  Frank said he received a call to be a preacher in
1902, but he didn't surrender to the ministry until 1909.
Another daughter, Ova, was born in 1913.  Lillian, the fourth
child, was born in 1914.  Ella went with Frank a lot as he
traveled throughout surrounding counties as an Associational
Missionary. They traveled by horse and buggy.
 
     Ella was a slender, gaunt person.  Her skin was olive,
and her hair and eyes were dark.  Her eyes were piercing.
She always claimed that her people were Black Dutch from
Wales.  She wore her hair combed back from her face and in a
bun held in place by big, brown hair pins at the nape of her
neck.  I never remember her wearing but one style of shoe,
black ones that laced in front with a clunky heel, and she
always wore them with heavy, cotton stockings.  She was a
dutiful and devoted wife and mother.
 
     Ella was a very reserved person, and there was never
very much nonsense about her.  The family was loving, but not
at all demonstrative with their affection.  She had a sense
of humor and I can still hear her "guffaw" and say, "oh,
pshaw" when she was amused.
 
     Ella and Frank raised very large gardens, and they spent
their time during the growing season tending it.  They canned
and preserved almost everything they ate.  They had a cellar
with many shelves filled with jars of beautiful fruits and
vegetables of every kind.  She was a good cook and made the
best biscuits I ever ate.
 
     We went to visit them, but not very often.  We would
always have to spend the night.  I always loved going to
their house.  They had a piano and I thought all their stuff
and their house was really neat and different from what I was
used to.  They came to visit us, too, every once in awhile.
 
     She was healthy and never went to the doctor much.  They
would use old home remedies and methods in treating aches,
hurts, and pains.  I remember they would drink sassafras tea.
Ella was a coffee lover and drank lots of it.  She dipped
snuff but was clean and discreet about it.  There were always
spit cans sitting around.  Frank dipped snuff too, and they
kept us in drinking glasses that they bought their snuff in.
 
     In 1953 Ella and Frank celebrated their Golden Wedding
Anniversary at their home in Lockett.  Thirty members of the
family gathered for lunch and throughout the afternoon
approximately 150 guest attended the celebration.  When Ella
died, they had been married 61 years.
 
     Ella suffered a stroke, and she was in the Vernon Clinic
Hospital in Vernon, Texas, for a short time.  Then she was
moved to a nursing home on Texas Street in Vernon.  Her
condition deteriorated progressively, and she didn't know
anyone.  The doctors wanted to amputate a leg, but Frank
wouldn't consent to it.  Ava and Lillian stayed with her
around the clock for the last month of her life.  After 6-8
months, she died on October 15, 1963.  Ella was buried in
Wilbarger Memorial Park in Vernon, Texas, Wilbarger County.
 

Be Mindful

 

mindful vs mind full image - Bing images

Sensical Approach to Cultural War

“This country was born in turmoil and conflict.”

 https://th.bing.com/th?id=OSK.HEROIdQaj2R3UW0s9xUpXFRGNzKcl5d0-nQ1XWS8p81Uk3w&w=280&h=165&c=15&rs=2&o=6&dpr=1.3&pid=SANGAM

I’ve done a lot of soul searching since the pandemic when the world seemed to be turned upside down. In May 2021, my own neighborhood was invaded by The Black Lives Matter organization which was resisting police order. My neighbor was part of the police organization. It was disturbing and thought provoking. I spent time wondering what I have missed and how maybe my own perspective is distorted. Then I found an article written from an interview with Annette Gordon-Reed. Annette is a Pulitzer Prize winning writer. This article was about her book The Hemingses of Monticello: An American Family.  I think she covers it quite nicely.

As a child Annette loved to read, more specifically biographies. She read about George Washington Carver, George Washinton, Thomas Jefferson, Dolley Madison, etc. Jefferson was the most interesting to her because he loved to read, and he wrote the Declaration of Independence…but he was a slave owner. Sally Hemings’ children were fathered by Jefferson. Annette says that though they were enslaved people, bound by the institution of slavery, they were also mothers, fathers, sisters, aunts, friends, etc. They had different personalities, different ways of going through the world. Their opportunities were severely circumscribed because of slavery but she wants to view them as individual human beings.

She understands why people would not want to name something after Jefferson, but “we have to grapple with him, because he embodies the contradictions of this country, the good things and the bad things.” Members of the founding generation of our nation must be a part of the conversation. The statues and things named for them present an opportunity to talk about the way this country was born. Annette believes that we can’t take out those parts of history because they are less favorable; they make us who we are today.

Annette is optimistic about the young people today because they have grown up thinking there is a problem, and it’s a problem we must deal with. She believes that some don’t want to talk about history, and she thinks young people are resisting that. She plans to write more books about the Black progress that has been made.

In 1964, Annette Gordon-Reed was a child growing up in Conroe, Texas. She was part of the generation, just as I was, that lived during the integration of schools. It was intense because it was a big deal for a Black child to go to a white school. We lived during a time where we had separate waiting rooms at the doctor’s office and Blacks were seated in the balcony at theaters. We were part of breaking those barriers.

Today, we name things for ALL people who have made a difference in communities, state, and nation. There are no barriers. The walls have crumbled, and we must be aware how much we have grown as a nation. A new school in Conroe was recently named Annette Gordon-Reed Elementary School. Let’s celebrate our successes and stop moaning about the history which led us to this place today. 

Roots Lyrics by Zac Brown Band

Music, Lyrics, and Poetry always get it right!
These are the first few stanzas of the song 

Roots, by Zac Brown Band

My first best friend was a 6 string
Took him with me everywhere I go
When I was 18, bought a Dodge van
Found a drummer and made the road my home
 
Ooh, I wouldn't change a thing
It made the man I am today
 
My roots always keep me grounded
Roots, remind me where I'm from
Even when I'm a thousand miles away from my roots
I'm home
 
Every Friday, you could find me
At Dixie Tavern, playing with my band
We'd start the show with a round of whiskey
And play our hearts out and wished it'd never end
 
Ooh, I wouldn't change a thing
It made the man I am today
 
My roots always keep me grounded
Roots, remind me where I'm from
Even when I'm a thousand miles away from my roots
I'm home                          

Toyland

 Growing up in the 1950s and 1960s, we didn’t have electronic toys. Instead, we grew our imaginations, and anything was possible.  It was a magical experience for your toys to come alive…and it was very real.  I remember when I began to grow past that stage. Somehow Mother must have known that my toys no longer held their magical powers.  She would often sing these words to me, probably understanding the struggle that children have when they begin to leave behind the make-believe world.

Toyland, toy land
Little girl and boy land
While you dwell within it
You are ever happy there.

Childhood's joy land

Mystic merry toy land

Once you pass its borders

You can ne'er return again.

              ~Christmas song by Doris Day

I didn’t have everything I wanted, but I had plenty. One of my favorite things was a set of Disney characters on wheels that Mother ordered for me from Montgomery Wards.  I waited anxiously for them to arrive and when they did, they were everything I dreamed of.  I played with them for a long time, coveted them and took good care not to break them. I appreciated everything that was given to me and perfected the art of preserving things by storing them perfectly sometimes in the original packaging.  I never wanted anything broken, and if by chance something did break, Mother was the master mind at finding a way to fix it.

The Disney characters on wheels.

https://missfunes.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/disney-vintage-toys-1960s/ 

I also enjoyed playing with toy cars, often making roads in the dirt to drive them along.  Barbie and Ken were VERY popular. I had several of each and two different doll houses for them.  I had complete wardrobes for them and two convertibles to drive them around in. But the doll I loved the most was my troll doll name Massie. These were the rage and mine was special because she had brown natural type hair. This is the only doll that I wish that I had saved, and yet she got left behind at Vernon when Mother and Daddy divorced.  I made clothes for them and had a doll house for them, as well. This was the doll that I played with until I reached the age that the fantasy world was no longer there. A friend/5^th cousin of mine also loved her trolls and we played behind closed doors when we felt that others were no longer playing with dolls.

decorideasid.blogspot.com

 I played with a “Baby Dear” because that was what Paula played with.  They were life-like and we purchased actual baby clothes at Moses for them.  We had cradles with blankets for them and would play mommy for hours. 

Other toys of my childhood:

Chatty Cathy – a doll that would talk when you pulled the string on her back side. She had eyelids that closed and opened.

 Mouse Trap Game – I loved building the sequence during the game to watch the ball navigate all the way through the maze to finally lower the cage that would capture the mouse.

Creepy Crawlers – was a ‘make your own’ creepy crawlers with a metal mold over a heated element. I would pour the gel into the mold, heat it, cool it and then have my own rubbery spiders and centipedes.

Wahoo – a game board to move marbles in order to win. I never had an official game board because I played this with cousins at Mimi’s house in Crowell on a homemade board made by Pappy.

Jacks – I mastered sitting in the floor and throwing the ball up, collecting all the jacks and catching the ball before it hit the floor a second time.  I remember playing this at church camp…sort of like tournament play.

Skating was a popular pastime, but the skates were clunky, no inline skates back them. They were metal affairs that were tightened with a key until they gripped our shoes, usually. I also had a skateboard that I wanted to love but it was difficult to ride because even the smallest pebble would stop the wheels and throw you off.

 Other toys to mention: Tinker toys, Mr. Potato Head, play dough, view masters to view beautiful pictures, etch n sketch, the cootie game to build a spider like animal, pick up sticks, and slinky, of course, but those were basically useless for long time play.

MY BEST FRIEND - MY PAL

 I originally wrote this piece in January 2019. When I realized that Pal was the first thing to come to my mind as a "GodWink", I knew I had to share this on my blog.

I guess my best friend was a dog that adopted me. I get a little teary still thinking about this special dog. Now reflecting back, I see more and more how special my relationship with him was and how he filled a void in a critical time for me.  He was there for me EVERYDAY, and most of the time, I preferred to play with him over my friends.  God certainly knew what He was doing when He place Pal in my life. We had other family dogs: Lassie, which Paula and Bryan placed a rubber band around his neck, only to be found when Mother smelled a really foul odor. He lived but I don’t remember much about him. Then we had Butch, a pug. I was too young to establish a relationship. I guess when Butch died, Mother and Daddy swore off of having a family dog. Until Pal arrived.  He was a mut, and I tried to pretend that I didn’t like him because I knew how much Mother and Daddy didn’t want a dog. But I played in secret with him, and he grew so very fond of me. He followed me everywhere and would not leave.

One Sunday afternoon, Mother and Daddy were determined to get rid of him, so we loaded him up and took him far away, into east Vernon, and let him out of the car.  As we drove off, I looked out the back window and he was running as fast as he could to keep up with the car.  I started howling and bawling my eyes out. Daddy stopped the car, we gathered him up, and from that day forward he was my dog, my PAL! I was probably in the second grade and had never known such loyalty in my life. There was one time when an older teenage girl showed up at our front door and claimed that Pal was her dog. She called him Johnny, and she lived in an apartment complex just across the way.  I cried, but I had to let him go.  Just days later, Pal reappeared, and I suppose they just decided not to search him down again…and he was finally mine! He let me dress him up and place him in my buggy. We took many picnics in an open field together. It was a relationship like no other. During my growing up years, I played many hours outdoors and having Pal as a playmate was the best. He was free to roam outside, until Mother finally agreed to allow him indoors. He would even find me at school and I would call Mother to come pick him up. Once I learned to ride a bike, Pal would follow me everywhere, and if I received permission to ride my bike to the local 7-11 (which was down a busy road), I would leash Pal to my bike and away we would go.

When I began to drive to school, Pal always knew when it was time for me to come home from school. He would position himself in the front yard waiting my return, and when I would drive in, he would follow me around to greet me at the car door.  All my friends knew him well. When we left for college, one friend brought some college friends home. When they were driving around, they came across Pal at the intersection near our home. She rolled down the window and called his name, and they all said, “You DO know everyone and their dogs.” Nothing was the same unless Pal was there to join the fun, which made a couple of Christmas eves a little dicey.  It always seemed that if he ever ran away, he would disappear on Christmas eve, the most special day of the year. I would just be miserable. Family would drive around looking for him, night would fall, Mother would serve our Christmas Eve meal, and I would constantly check the front porch…and then poof, there he would be and I could be happy to open presents.

Pal lived a long life. I was lucky to have him during his prime years. For me that would be from the 2^nd grade until college.  When things fell apart in my home situation, he was there for me. After I left for college, Daddy backed over him one morning, and Mother said Daddy was as white as a ghost when he came in to tell her.  They took Pal to the vet; he lived but was always down in his hind part after that.  And of course, one Christmas, he wandered off..never to return. I knew that he wanted to spare me the pain of physically losing him.  But we never quit scouting the horizon for him, as there had been a sighting of him on the highway to the lake. I often wondered if he was trying to find me.  I loved him; everyone knew I loved him; he was part of me. From that day forward, I have never been without a dog.  Dog spelled backwards is GOD.  They are special critters, indeed.

Godwinks Defined

 An event or personal experience, often identified as coincidence, so astonishing that it is seen as a sign of divine intervention, especially when perceived as the answer to a prayer.

I ordered the book, and before it ever arrived, I was able to read the introduction online. The author advises that you sit in a meditative state and envisioned things or people throughout your life that you believe made an impact on the direction of your life. It was so powerful to me that I purchased 4 more copies to give as gifts to others. Even though it is an older book, I believe that the message is most useful because I have always believed that God intervenes and that everything that happens, happens for a reason. But how well do I listen to His direction?

Below is my list of GodWinks: Dec 7, 2021

God- it all comes back to here. Giving me the ability to forgive. As I made this list, I didn't start here. The first item on my list was my childhood pet, but I had to double back and put God at the top of the list, since I have lived in faith since I was a child. I know that He guides me in everything that I do. I pray to Him often for guidance and comfort.

My heritage – I also had to come back and list this at the top since I am a huge historian for family history. I know that God is in my DNA just by the rich history of all of my ancestors. They lived full rich lives grounded in the faith. I had many preachers in my background and I’m truly their daughter in Christ. Because of them, I reached the place where I am today. Without them, I wouldn’t be here.

 Pal – the best friend that kept me sane as a child Dec 7, 2021. As I truly reflected with my eyes closed back into my past, the first vision I had was of my dog PAL. The name was truly fitting. He was my best friend and kept me sane as a child. When I searched my files, I found that I had already written a tribute to Pal which I will share on this blog tomorrow, but there was much more to his story than I realized when I wrote about him in 2019. 

So here’s the rest of the story and why I know that it was no coincidence that Pal found me:

I had a very hard time adjusting to school in the first grade, as I was a year younger than all the rest (born Aug 31). In second grade, Pal found me and I began to adjust much better to school life, though I had a teacher Mrs. Ricketts who I was a bit afraid of. But Pal grounded me and became my source of daily comfort. Now that I was adjusting better to school and friends and social life, I became a LEADER of my group of friends. In hindsight, I believe it was because I had an older brother who was a star football player and my sister was always the most popular girl and always selected as cheerleader. My parents were up-coming in the community and all of this gave me confidence. This role of being a leader in my cliche of friends continued until the end of 4^th grade.  When we made the transition to 5^th grade to Middle School (different building and location), I found myself at the very bottom of the pile. Though I hate to point fingers, in my soul I feel I know who was responsible for taking me out of the mix. Children can be very brutal to one another due to jealousy.  The “new” ringleader began to ridicule me, taunt me and make fun of me in front of others, and it seemed that ALL followed her lead. It reached a point where I hated to even get out of the car at school and would immediately look for a place out of the way and the taunting that this person subjected me to. I withdrew more and more and tried to stay out of harm’s way. MY PAL was, at that time, the only true friend I felt that I had. When I came home each day, he was there and I would find a place of refuge with him, as I withdrew into my own cocoon. Mother would often tell me to tell them, “Go jump off a bridge.” It rang hollow, as it was just not something practical. But I’m sure she was at wits end with no other idea. I often wondered why someone didn’t save me from this cruel reality, but IN reality, I learned to be tough and appreciate my own worth. I’m not sure that I could have done that without the comfort of my old friend, Pal. Things did improve in the 7^th/8^th grade as we were now anticipating going to high school and becoming cheerleaders. These girls felt that I had something to offer and they began to invite me to the park to “play practice”, but I never regained the same footing, as I was always skeptical of becoming the “whipping boy” again. And then we transitioned to High School and the said ringleader WAS elected cheerleader.  But now I faced a different more personal challenge. And once again, when things grew wretched at home during high school, Pal was there for me….EVERY DAY….keeping me sane.

I never analyzed all of this until WAY later in my life. I just learned how to buck up and move forward. But one day as I sat in teacher training prior to the start of school probably around 2002, we were learning all about bullying, and how to recognize it and prevent it. I don’t think that I have ever had anything affect me in such an ‘ah ha’ moment when I realized that THAT was exactly what I had experienced. I sat in that training with tears in my eyes. I’ve never succumbed to the “oh poor me” attitude, but in that moment, it all became clear that I had been the victim of the brutality of bullying. That person who found a need to bully me changed my life forever. Once again, I’m sure that God had a plan. He knew all along maybe where the ‘other’ road would lead me. But He gave me a PAL to see me through.

Mother – Well, there will be MUCH more about my mother as she was my mother first and my best friend in my adult life. She taught me deeply about life, gave me insight into myself (She often told me good things happen to you because you wait to make a judgement... and people know exactly who you are because it is written on your face.) She taught by proverbializms. These allowed her to express a certain moral given by an unknown narrator to show that in order to overcome doubts and discouragements, one must plug on to navigate life’s problems. She lived by example, without judging me or telling me what to do.

Agape love

Daddy- someone is ALWAYS there for me. More about my precious daddy who loved me with a heart bigger than Texas.

Eventually, I listed 27 more people/events that I believe were Godwinks. I plan to flesh those out and share the blessings given to me by the people who made a difference in my life.